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Lost & Found: These ’80s Guys Are Looking for Some Fun

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Every decade has its own dirty little secret. The ’60s had love beads, the ’70s had key parties and the ’80s had video dating. Let’s be honest here — the ’80s had way more embarrassing pop culture trends than video dating. But let’s just focus on video dating for now.

These handsome fellows are all looking for that certain special someone with whom they can find companionship, and maybe, if they’re lucky, love. One gentleman wearing a very comfortable-looking silk shirt was definitely not reciting lines he’d written while stoned the night before when he declared that he likes to “talk to people deep into the night.” We’re guessing the video cut off before he could finish his sentence, but that’s OK. We also like to talk to people deep into the night while listening to the complete Night Ranger discography.

And all you need to know about Phil is that most of his friends call him “Big Phil.”

Then there’s Maurice. He chose only the raddest pick-up lines from the pick-up line binder in the video-dating office. We can only imagine how a woman would react to the prospect of taking a trip through his world.

“Hi, I’m Maurice,” he says, his shoulders slanted just so. “I’m an executive by day and a wild man by night.” His shirt is unbuttoned just enough to give you a glimpse of his bare chest. His eyes move upward as if he was checking out your body, even though this is a recording. A smile spreads beneath his blond mustache. You can feel your breath quicken and your heart pound, just before you projectile vomit all over the television and the entire room. As the vomiting subsides, you notice that someone has stopped the tape. “Thank you,” you utter between wet gasps for air. “Thank you.”

Next Lost & Found: Magic Pancakes!

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