Lost & Found: How to Make Iced Tea in Your Nightmares
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If you’re a big fan of iced tea, maybe you should skip this video, because it will not in any way remind you of all the reasons you love this “magical elixir of dreams … and sometimes nightmares,” as video blogger Steve Sutton says in this educational clip. The only concept that you’ll be educated on is to never let Mr. Sutton cook for you.
His instructions begin with him saying, “First, take a small pot and fill it three-quarters of the way full with water” as he fills a small pot full to the brim with water. We’re assuming he holds a fundamentally flawed idea of fractions, but we’re willing to overlook this. We only hope that the perfunctory rinse he gives the pot is not his substitute for actually washing it.
From the looks of his sugar scoop, though, we fear that his household sanitation regimen may be more flawed than his understanding of measurements. With no hesitation or shame, he presents the camera with a small plastic scoop crusted over with what we hope is sugar.
After using this cup to sweeten the water in his colorful glass pitcher, he simply tosses it back into his sugar. We’ll take our tea unsweetened, please, Mr. Sutton.
Steve is a seasoned veteran of web videos. He’s been posting them at least as far back as 2006. While he’s gained a reputation for being a prolific Internet creeper, not all of his videos are so weird. Some of them are actually funny. You can browse his YouTube channel here. He even has a long-running web series about a portal that leads to an alternate world full of clones of himself. We wonder if any of them have ever been sick with food poisoning from old, crusty sugar.