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Lost & Found: King Buzzo Tests the Worth of His Scene Cred

Being the progenitor of one of the most successful and influential musical movements in history may buy you a spot in a few rock mags, but it won’t buy you a mansion in Beverly Hills. For that, as the Melvins‘ “King Buzzo” Osborne so perfectly illustrates, reputation does not always equal money.

In case you’re not familiar with the Melvins, here’s a quick rundown: They’ve been playing sludge rock for more than 30 years, drawing on everything from Black Flag and Black Sabbath to the Rolling Stones and the Beatles. They’ve also directly influenced just about every band that came out of the Seattle “alternative” music scene, including Soundgarden, Pearl Jam¬†and, yes, Nirvana. Kurt Cobain was even a roadie for the Melvins for a minute, and he produced a handful of tracks on the Melvins’ 1993 album, ‘Houdini.’ Melvins drummer Dale Crover filled in on drums for Nirvana until they found a scrappy lil’ fella named Dave Grohl to join the band full-time.

And in case you’re wondering — yes, the Melvins are still together and putting out kick-ass music today.

Melvins frontman Buzzo has always had a streak of a–hole in him, which more often than not surfaces in pretty funny ways. In the above video, for example, he convinces a Beverly Hills real estate agent to give him a tour of a giant mansion. He assures her that he has everything he needs to buy the home inside of the black satchel he brings with him that — spoiler alert — doesn’t actually contain any money or money-like objects. That dickish humor comes through at different points throughout the tour — with the best moment being when the real estate agent mentions rock legend Bruce Springsteen.

“I don’t know who he is either,” Buzzo replies. “Is he, like, in the music industry or something?”

In the end, much to the real estate agent’s chagrin, Buzz produces the means by which he plans to acquire the house — a pile of magazines and newspapers singing the praises of the Melvins. Upon seeing all of this non-money paper, the real estate agent replies, “What you need for this house is one thing. Guess what — money.” So much for King Buzzo’s dream home.

Oh, well. Some lessons are best learned the hard way. Now that Buzz Osborne has educated us all on one of life’s harsh realities, let the Melvins console you with this music video for ‘The Talking Horse’ from the 2006 album ‘(a) Senile Animal.’

Next Lost & Found: 45 Grave on 'New Wave Theater'

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