Lost & Found: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Zombie Shopping Trip, Minus Ted

This is a classic tale: Demon-zombie-man runs shop, demon-zombie-man hates kids, kids disappear, one kid somehow defeats demon-zombie-man, kid gives all of demon-zombie-man's candy away. It's been told a thousand times in almost every known language. But this version is the one to watch, mainly because the demon-zombie-guy is played Alex Winter, a.k.a. Bill S. Preston, Esq.

Winter also wrote this short film that has no continuity errors whatsoever. In it, he plays Grendel T.W. Ulcerous, a small business owner plagued by children who read the comics without buying them and who steal his goods. Keeping a small shop such as his afloat is a constant struggle, and Ulcerous does what he must to keep his doors open. So what if a few sticky-fingered brats go missing? They were probably going to end up in prison anyway.

Or at that seems to be how Ulcerous felt, right up until ... well, we're not sure what happens at the end. Some kid buys a s---load of bubble gum. After that, Ulcerous gets in his car and drives away. Then a bunch of boxes of candy and other junk flies through the air and the kids freak out. We suppose there's supposed to be some connection between the kid buying all that gum and all the candy flying through the air, but who's to say for sure?

According to the narrator, this represents some sort of victory over the crabby shopkeeper. Maybe the kid rigged the guy's car with some sort of bubble-gum bomb, and when the car exploded, it turned into candy. Honestly, we don't really care. We just love Winter in what we believe should have been his career-defining role.