Lollapalooza 2013 sold out fast, and because not everyone can be in Chicago’s Grant Park this weekend, the good folks at America’s premiere summer festival are streaming some of the most anticipated sets online. The YouTube webcast won’t show you everything, but the schedule allows for some pretty choice viewing. What follows is a handy 10-step guide for enjoying the Lollapalooza 2013 webcast.
1. Feign illness, leave work early Friday and watch Icona Pop kick it fun and fizzy at 3:30PM. ‘I Love It’ may be the Summer Jam of 2013, so there's a strong cultural justification for your shirking.
2. Crack a sixer and sleaze out with Queens of the Stone Age at 6:15PM. Laugh to yourself as you look out the window and leer at all the suckers coming home from full days of work. Suckers.
3. Embrace the synthesizer from 8:30PM to midnight, as the Killers and Nine Inch Nails offer a one-two punch (or a fey slap followed by a walloping uppercut) of light and dark keyboard-based essentials.
4. Sleep late Saturday. You earned it, what with that five-hour day your put in on Friday.
5. Awake at 4PM, just in time to catch U.K. pop songstress Ellie Goulding at 5PM and the National at 6. The latter’s intellectual grumpiness will prove a nice contrast for what’s to come...
6. Throw on some overalls and knee-slap or spoon-clack along to the Lumineers (7:15PM) and Mumford and Sons (10). Saturday is Neo-Folk Night at Lolla, a throwback to Pony Express days, so you’re allowed to skip Postal Service at 8:30.
7. In the name of cultural curiosity, start your Sunday viewing with Alt-J at 5:30PM and find out why the Brits are buzzing about these Mercury Prize winners.
8. When your kids ask about the early 21st century, they’ll wanna know about this “EDM" thing. The Lolla 2013 webcast doesn’t offer a ton, but Steve Aoki makes with the bass drops and button-pressing at 6:30PM, and you oughta be there.
9. Pop your polo collar and dance as best your boat shoes allow when Vampire Weekend bust out ‘Diane Young’ at 7PM. Life’s too short to pretend you’re not into these guys.
10. Cap things off at 8:15PM with the Cure, arguably the best singles band of the alt-rock era. Forget that it’s Sunday night, and that means faking a lingering cough Monday morning. It’s Friday. You’re in love.