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Perfect Breakup Playlist (For When You’re Down and Dumped)

Simone Joyner/Scott Gries/Kevin Winter, Getty Images

Just as the mountains will crumble to dust and the rivers will dry up, so too must relationships pass. Coming to terms with reality after having your heart plied from between your lungs is often difficult. Many turn to special means in order to soothe their pain; drugs, alcohol and promiscuous company have all served as popular methods for putting an ex in the rear view mirror. But we’d like to help all of you find less destructive sources of solace during your trying times.

A song may often prove useful in just such a scenario. Music has served to help many a heart-broken traveler find calmer emotional waters. We’ve already compiled a playlist of songs to assist you in apologizing to a wronged lover, so maybe you could try that before giving up all hope. But if your worst fears are true and you find yourself alone, we’re here for you. Below, we give you the Perfect Playlist (For When You’re Down and Dumped):


'They'll Need a Crane'

They Might Be Giants
 
 

It's rare that a breakup comes out of nowhere. More often than not, the signs of a dying relationship are there to be found if you know what to look for. They Might Be Giants' song 'They'll Need a Crane' contains many of these clues, including accidentally saying "nightmare people" when you meant to say "people." Also, if your loved one slips the phrase "I don't love you anymore" into a conversation about dinner plans, it might be time to start pricing single-bedroom apartments.

 

'Love Will Tear Us Apart'

Joy Division
 
 

If you're not careful after a breakup, you might find yourself falling into new habits, trying new styles or hanging with a new crowd. If you end up wearing lots of black -- black t-shirts, black nail polish, black lipstick, black combat boots, etc. -- you may have become goth. No worries, though. Just dance and smoke while listening to Joy Division's 'Love Will Tear Us Apart.' You'll regret it later, though, when pictures of you in a black trench coat at a Swans concert pop up on your Facebook wall.

 

'Prayer to God'

Shellac
 
 

Sometimes, anger is what's called for when your significant other leaves you, especially when it's for somebody else. We don't condone violence, but daydreaming about violence, that's OK. Steve Albini, who's known for being angry at times himself, and his band Shellac have a song tailor-made for such an occasion. 'Prayer to God' is not for the faint of heart, though. Albini wasn't playing around when he wrote this little ditty.

 

'Back to Black'

Amy Winehouse
 
 

That Amy Winehouse died so young is a shame. She recorded only two albums before being consumed by her demons. She left behind some music perfect for finding out if your sorrows can swim in whiskey, though. The bad news is that they can. The good news is that you won't care while you're drinking. And you probably won't care the next morning, either, when you wake up with the world's worst hangover.

 

'A Perfect Sonnet'

Bright Eyes
 
 

After being dumped, it's inevitable that you'll find yourself at some point acting melodramatic, often wailing and tearing at your shirt and hair. There's no better artist to accommodate your freshman drama student antics than Bright Eyes. And there's arguably no Bright Eyes song more embarrassingly over-dramatic than 'A Perfect Sonnet.' The word "perfect" in the title means "perfect for playing on repeat while drowning in cheap peach schnapps and cutting up photos of your ex."

 

'September Gurls'

Big Star
 
 

Not all of the music you listen to after being dumped has to be sad and mopey or angry and vengeful. A nice, poppy tune can do much to lift one's spirits. Big Star, a band often overlooked by mainstream audiences, had their own unique brand of pop that has influenced rock music in a big way. Their tune 'September Gurls' might just be the perfect blend of melancholy and head-bobby, prompting you to finally climb out from under the pile of empty take-out containers and beer cans to seek some sunlight.

 

'Blue Jeans'

Lana Del Rey
 
 

Not all possible responses are negative. Occasionally, you'll find yourself understanding why your love has left, and you just want to know that you'll be in his or her heart from now on. Sounds sappy, we know, but it's true. If you doubt it, just take a listen to Lana Del Rey's 'Blue Jeans.'

 

'F--- You (An Ode to No One)'

Smashing Pumpkins
 
 

While sadness and angry thoughts of revenge are commonplace after being dumped, sometimes a simpler reaction is what's best. And the Smashing Pumpkins have the perfect two-word response ready for you.

 

'Brand New Love'

Sebadoh
 
 

We mentioned earlier the possibility that your relationship ended without making you angry. While this is true, it certainly isn't the norm. More often than not, you'll find a big, nasty ball of rage left behind after you get dumped. Enter Sebadoh with one of their early tunes, 'Brand New Love.' This is a song that doesn't seem mean until you begin digging into the lyrics. Just have a listen and let the soothing anger take over.

 

'One Million Kisses'

Half Japanese
 
 

We've gone over many ways to deal with a broken heart, but sometimes the end of a relationship is a good thing. It can open you up to a host of new possibilities. Jad Fair of Half Japanese has envisioned just such a scenario, and wrote the classic tune, 'One Million Kisses.' And ladies, we don't mean to exclude you. There's a version that caters to the gentler sex as well, performed by the Gladeyes.

 

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