In a piece for Vulture’s "Stoner Week" series, former Mars Volta frontman Cedric Bixler-Zavala discusses his experience with marijuana, which he says transformed him into “a total monster.”

“I was spending $1,000 a week on weed, and everyone I was in the band with at the time smoked as much as I did,” Bixler-Zavala writes. “There’s so much stupid behavior caused by weed, but I always had that cliché: I needed it for creativity. I’ve come to realize that at the end of the day, it’s only you yourself that creativity comes from.”

He also says pot affected how he created and consumed music, which has changed since he dropped the habit.

“Because I was such a pothead, I was not really communicating all that much other than just being long-winded and trying to be difficult for the sake of being difficult,” he says of his writing process. “A lot of the stuff I cringe at, you know, 'cause as a kid I always gravitated to that trippier stuff.”

“I don't want all my art and all my life to be defined by weed,” he adds. “I want to be known as someone who grew up a little.”

Bixler-Zavala recently dispelled rumors that the Mars Volta would reunite, tweeting, “Let me be the 1st to clear up Volta rumors. Sorry it’s not gonna happen.”

However, Bixler-Zavala and his former Mars Volta and At the Drive-In bandmate Omar Rodriguez-Lopez’s new project, Antemasque, released their self-titled debut last year.