10 Reasons Riot Fest Chicago Is Gonna Rule

Riot Fest Chicago is less than a week away, and the second of the festival's three weekend-long stops promises to be one of the year's finest rock 'n' roll outings. As in Toronto last month, the big story is the Replacements, but their return to the stage after more than two decades is just one reason to fly, drive, hitch, run or crawl your way to Chi-Town this weekend. Joining the 'Mats is a Who's Who of punk, garage, indie, metal, hip-hop and yes, even ska bands -- plus carnival rides, choice eats and more.

You know it's a killer festival when the Pixies -- scheduled to perform on Sunday night just before the Replacements -- aren't headliners, and since we can't hardly wait to debase ourselves and partake of all the noisy action, we've compiled this list of 10 Reasons Riot Fest Chicago Is Gonna Rule.

Did we mention the Re-motherf---ing-placements are playing?

And those aforementioned Pixies are doing new tunes -- newer even than the ones on their just-released, just dandy 'EP-1.' Deal or no Deal, we're in.

Horns! Satanic ska greats Mephiskapheles will scare up evil brass sounds on their classic 'Doomsday,' while Rocket from the Crypt will reaffirm the trumpet's punk rock cred.

Everyone's loving on the '90s these days, but punk was born in the '70s, and Blondie and X will school the millenials on how NYC and L.A. got down back in the day.

Rock, like most things, is better with foam puppets and fake blood, and catching GWAR is totally worth the dry-cleaning bill.

Danzig has enlisted former Misfits bandmate Doyle for his latest go-round, so those Jersey schlock-punk anthems are bound to sound extra grimy.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Welcome back, Fall Out Boy and blink-182. We didn't know we missed ya.

Chuck D is still pissed off -- that's what the "P" on his hat stands for -- and with a Syrian war looming, he'll have plenty to spout off about.

We love Flaming Lips, but for once, there's a major festival that won't feature a dude in a giant rubber ball. (Unless Danzig totally pulls a fast one on us.)

Replacements, son.