Eagles of Death Metal frontman Jesse Hughes doesn’t know if the band will perform their song “Kiss The Devil” ever again, because it was the one they were playing when terrorists opened fire during their concert in Paris in 2015. And while he’d love to retake ownership of the track, the rest of the band may not feel the same way.

The Bataclan venue in the French capital was targeted as part of a series of coordinated attacks on Nov. 13, 2015, in which a total of 130 people died, including 89 at the concert. A further 368 people were injured. EODM returned to Paris three weeks later as guests of U2, with the aim of proving that the experience would not defeat them.

“From the second the bullets started flying, I saw some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life,” Hughes told Yahoo. “Terrible, beautiful things. I got to bear witness to some of the most noble things I’ve ever seen. I witnessed moments when people gave their lives for people they loved. That’s the greatest love a person can have.”

Speaking of their return, he said: “Had U2 not insisted, made a priority that we hit the stage so fast, I don’t know if I ever would have gotten on stage again. U2 are the most beautiful people I’ve met in this business. Their sincerity was so critical to our recovery.”

But “Kiss The Devil” may never be recovered after Hughes suggested to his bandmates that they perform it while they shared U2’s stage. “I’m a gung-ho, old-fashioned redneck – I don’t have it in me to let the bad guys win,” he said. “My theory was, if we were going to ‘finish’ our set, we should play that song. But Dave [Catching] and Matt McJunkins aren’t like me.

“They’re brave in their own way. But Davey saw some of the ugliest of it in the Bataclan. He spent an hour in the bathroom with one of the bad guys trying to kick it in and kill him. Davey spent an hour with death on the other side. I didn’t have that experience.

“I saw the look on his face when I even broached the subject. So for him, I didn’t even push it. Now I feel like, because we didn’t play it from the very beginning, how do we play it now? I don’t know if I’ll ever play it again. I want to, but how?”

Considering the possibility of a low-key solo performance, Hughes reflected: “I’ve never really thought of this before – this is a song that me and 2000 people mutually own, that was paid for with blood. So maybe, honestly, it’s not a decision I could make on my own.”

More From Diffuser.fm