Passion Pit Singer Opens Up About Living With Bipolar Disorder
We've grown accustomed to celebrities cloaking their visits to rehab in euphemisms like "dealing with exhaustion," so when Passion Pit canceled some gigs last month due to singer Michael Angelakos' need to "work on improving my mental health," it was easy to be cynical about the real reasons for the decision. But as it turns out, Angelakos has been living with an acute form of bipolar disorder -- a struggle he discussed during recent in-depth interviews with Rolling Stone and Pitchfork.
"It's a constant thing -- I'm on suicide watch all the time," Angelakos admitted to Pitchfork. "Creativity essentially leads to suicide -- where you think to cut yourself up, sit in the bathtub, and take more medication than you should." The article goes on to describe a time when the singer did just that -- and narrowly averted causing himself serious harm.
"It was a really gruesome scene," he recalled. "I walked myself to the hospital and waited for four hours -- my coat had blood seeping through it, and I was passing out on the floor. The hospital employees finally realized what was wrong with me and said, 'Why didn't you tell us what was happening?' I didn't tell them because I was embarrassed."
Speaking with Rolling Stone, Angelakos said that "it's a lot nicer to be able to talk about" what he's been going through, but he still has reservations about his ability to further his career while taking care of his health.
"It's hard to be doing this at all," he admitted. "It's not just a person who suffers from any mental health issue that shouldn't be touring – most people shouldn't really be touring. It's not really a healthy lifestyle. I know how to do it to a certain extent to make it work for me, and I have people who care about me and want me to be well. I make it work because I need to make a living too. And this is what I do."